Luscious has been taking a lot of those online quizzes lately, because it’s important to know which city we should live in, or which 80’s pop star we should be, or which communicable disease we should contract. It’s mostly been a miserable experience. Apparently all the people we know on Facebook are either Emma Stone or Jennifer Lawrence, but we are Tara Reid. Everybody else is Sonic Youth and The Decemberists and we’re Poison. That’s so unfair– big hair and age-inappropriate use of eyeliner does not put a person on par with Brett Michaels.
And we have no idea which particular combination of answers earned us Monster Truck Racing for Which Winter Olympic Sport Are You?. We were insulted — we KNOW monster trucks are not part of the winter Olympics. That’s a summer Olympics thing.
At first the Luscious girls planned to drive the TransAm up to the Buzzfeed office in New York City and bitchslap the person who created the quiz entitled Which Exotic Vacation Would You Be? Because Shreveport, Louisiana shouldn’t even be a possible result for that quiz. But when they couldn’t find enough change under the couch cushions for gas money, Anne-Charlotte and Jennifer decided that mature, refined women of the world like themselves should simply boycott internet quizzes.
Okay, JUST ONE MORE. And apparently, if you take the quiz Which is Your Holiday, the answers “whiskey-soaked”, “bar fight” and “Kiss Me, I’m White Trash” will surprisingly result in St. Patrick’s Day. Hmmm, Luscious can live with that. You can be St. Patrick’s Day, too, all you need are these slightly drunken brownies:
Irish Coffee Brownies
2 tsp instant coffee
2 tablespoons Irish whiskey
6 oz bittersweet chocolate
4 oz unsweetened chocolate
2 oz semisweet chocolate (or ¼ cup semisweet chocolate chips)
2 sticks plus 2 tablespoons butter
2 ¼ cups sugar
1 ½ tsp sea salt
2 ¼ cups flour
1 ½ cups semisweet chocolate chips
Pre-heat over to 350º. Line an 11 x 17 inch baking dish with parchment paper, and butter the paper and sides of dish. Dissolve the instant coffee into the whiskey. Insert your own joke here about pouring a little whiskey to enjoy while baking. Maybe it’s not a joke. Finely chop chocolates, cut butter into 1 tablespoon pieces, and combine in a saucepan over low heat. Stir constantly until chocolate and butter until melted and smooth. Seriously, do not walk away to watch a few minutes of the Jerry Springer show unless you love the taste of burnt chocolate. Remove from heat and let cool for 2-3 minutes. Stir in sugar, salt, and the coffee-whiskey mixture. Then thoroughly mix in the eggs a couple at a time. Lastly, fold in the chocolate chips. Pour batter into prepared pan and bake for 25-30 minutes. When done, the edges should start to crack a little and the center should be slightly yielding to the touch (but not gooey.) Allow brownies to cool while you make the ganache. Use a knife to release the brownies from the sides and use the parchment to help lift the brownies from the pan. Remove to serving platter or cutting board.
4 oz bittersweet chocolate, chopped
6 oz heavy cream
2 tablespoons to ¼ cup Irish whiskey
1 tsp instant coffee
pinch of salt
Put the chopped chocolate in a glass bowl. Boil the cream over medium heat (this is another “don’t walk away” scenario) and pour over the chocolate. Stir like crazy until the chocolate is melted and the mixture is smooth. If the chocolate is not completely melted before the mixture cools, pop it in the microwave for 10-15 seconds, then continue to stir. Stir in whiskey and coffee. If the whiskey taste is too subtle for you, you can splash in a bit more. If the whiskey taste is still too subtle, maybe you should just have a shot of whiskey. Spread ganache evenly over brownies.
Cinnamon Whipped Cream
Whip 8 oz very cold heavy cream with 2 tsp cinnamon until thick.
Slice brownies into squares. Serve at room temperature or slightly warm, topped with the whipped cream.